Of course you can.

twiggz · Newbie Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 74

Good for you webcoder, my wife and I still enjoy running our own irc network as well.

Nerdanel · none Joined: 11 Jun 2008 Posts: 20

I would like to raise my hand here.

Online means of communication, which IRC is a form of, is something that is getting more and more merged with "old" types of communication. It isn't limited to "internet geeks" anymore, it is in everybody's living room. Why should it be so impossible for people to develop deep relationships there? I have never set my foot, eh, hands, in a dedicated dating room. I find things like that boring.

I admit, i am one of the old computer geeks who started with, in my case, an Amiga. Two decades ago. IRC has gone from a novel way of meeting people with similar interests to also a way to keep up communication with people who i wouldn't see as much, because they live too far away.

The first time my fiancee and I met, it was over IRC. Other people i know have met each other in different situations such as work, school, some have even advertised in the newspaper. I see nothing unusual about the fact that our first conversation was over the IRC medium.There is nothing unusual about us either, we are both full time working adults with various hobbies, and IRC is one we share. Yes, having IRC as a hobby doesn't mean that we can't also have other interests.

I would say that she slow way we developed our relationship, without distracting, physical first impressions, has only made our relationshop stronger. I look forward to the day we will live in the same house, we will of course have computers to chat with. It is so much more fun than just sitting in a sofa watching TV.

This post came out a little longer than i first thought, it has been brewing in my head through a long work day.

Liam · Posted: Jun 23, 2008 9:40am Post subject:

I met my girlfriend on msn and then we talked on IRC for a while and then eventually met up with each other and we have been together ever since.

dacayhero · Lurker Joined: 26 Jan 2008 Posts: 191

I never dated online i dont believe in it you never know who you are dating really is.

Wepa · none Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 23

people do meet physically on myspace, facebook etc, I don't see why not on IRC.

Muse · none Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 19 Location: IRC

I've had no less than three proposals from on-line relationships, but I only accepted one. We met playing V:tm and D&D online through a mutual (on-line) friend.

We moved into phone conversations after a few months of chatting. After about a year, he came to visit me for 3 days. Nine months later, he came to visit again and travel with me back to his home. About 2000 miles cross country.

Nine months after that, we married on a sunny Halloween afternoon. That was eight years ago. First marriage for him. Second for me. I had divorced my last psycho hasbeen. But that's a whole other story about guns and bipolar disorder.

As for my internet love, we still laugh and joke around just like we did on-line. We have never stopped flirting like we did on-line, either, and the physical aspect of our relationship is nice enough, but it hardly makes the foundation of our love for each other. You see, I fell in love with his mind first--maybe coming out of a relationship where the mind was diseased made it a priority with me--how he looked in person really was of little consideration to me. I was as in love as I could possibly be and that was with who he was as a person. No way I'd ever give up the true love I'd found for something as petty as what he looked like in person.

We had exchanged pics. I sent him several and yet I had never asked him for one. It simply didn't matter to me. Shortly before he was to come visit me the first time, he surprised me by DCC-ing me one of himself sitting smileless, all serious-like, staring into the webcam. It was so totally contrary to the personality I had come to love. If I had received that pic months before or had met him in person at, say, a Starbucks, I would not have been interested at all. He was good looking enough, but he just looked so terribly serious, stern and his eyes were downright punishing and cold. I began to doubt my abilities of reason as well as the whole basis of our relationship. Maybe I had indeed only imagined the personality of the man I'd fallen for, instead of truly coming to know who the real man was. Going to meet that plane that day was scary. I'd be lying if the thought of him being a -really- smooth predator of one kind or another hadn't crossed my mind (as well as various other possible scenarios of devious and evil intent). But there was no way I wasn't going to show up and find out. I had met several on-line people before. I'd even travelled out of country to attend a party for our #beginner channel on Superchat. (Yes, Jason's Superchat) People who I knew only by their nicks--Zila, Snowwy, Halfpint, Beachbum, and others welcomed me warmly. Not one ulterior motive in the lot of 'em. (That was the summer that 'The Blair Witch Project' came out and a bunch of us went to see it and then scared each other sh*tless afterwards.) It was a blast.

No... I'd invested emotionally far too deeply by the time that plane had landed AND, afterall, I had proven to myself that one could fall in love on-line. I knew what love was, and I knew I was hopelessly in love irregardless of how adamantly in the past I had argued against it even being possible. I had been the the biggest nay-sayer of internet relationships and internet love that you could ever run across.

Well, I was wrong.

It does happen. It happened to me. It happened to him. It DOES exist and I'm not so egocentric as to think that we're the ONLY ones. Ergo, others have found love and a mate on IRC.

Without getting gushy-mushy (too late?), it's great! I'd recommend it to anyone who is willing to be open, honest and generously giving of their true inner self because that's what it takes to find a soulmate. Successful relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. Each person giving all. With the statistics indicating that 70% of the on-line dating subscribers are currently married, I wouldn't suggest looking for love there. Liars don't make good givers. Razz

Now, if physical love is more important to you than love of the inner being, then internet love will probably amount to little more than picture exchanges or webcam dates with perhaps a tryst now and then if you're lucky. Not a great basis upon which to build a lasting relationship and I can't envision it lasting too long. Not that it's not possible to start off with the inferno frenzy of physical love and have it grow to include love of the soul, it's just very, very rare. But I've been wrong before. Smile

We will celebrate our 8th year anniversary this Halloween. We still IRC on a network we and a friend own/run.

For me, I can't imagine life without my internet-met love, or life without IRC, so intertwined are they and a part of me.

Mary · SearchIRC Admin Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 692

Muse, what nick did you use on Superchat?

katsklaw · Guru Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 1087

Muse · none Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 19 Location: IRC

Mary · SearchIRC Admin Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 692

katsklaw, agreed. IRC is just one more way of meeting people.

Perhaps the better question is, do you get to know the "real" person on IRC better than you would face to face? Or, does the absence of physical clues and careful control over what they write allow some to hide their personality better?

Mary · SearchIRC Admin Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 692

Muse, I was mregit on Superchat.

katsklaw · Guru Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 1087

Muse · none Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 19 Location: IRC

Mary · SearchIRC Admin Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 692

I've found that men and women are very different when it comes to online relationships.

Women try to discover the person through their words, and in doing so often feel they know the 'real' man, then eagerly anticipate discovering the exterior package as well. When they meet, she wants to look beyond his appearance.

Men, on the other hand, tend to build a visual and then fall in love with her. Even if the real woman is wonderful, when they finally meet he is usually disappointed because she does not - can not - live up to his fantasy. Of course, some times she is even better. ;)

Mary · SearchIRC Admin Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 692